Couple-Care is a monthly series highlighting inspiring couples in our community. Each couple discusses how “couple-care” sustains their relationship, the self-care lessons they’ve learned from each other and more.
Nakeya Brown and Larry Cook can relate on many things. Of course, there’s the love the married couple share for one another. But also, inseparable since the summer of 2016 after the two met at an art opening in DC, the Maryland-based pair are both artists and teachers.
Brown, a California-born photo-educator, prides herself on “being able to immerse myself in the creative world of photography,” as Nakeya, whose work is soaked in nostalgia and Black women’s empowerment, tells ESSENCE. “On any given day, I’m making my own photographs, learning, or teaching something new,” she says. As for what keeps her going during busy seasons? “My students. I’ve discovered a sense of purpose right in my local community.”
Meanwhile, Larry is a PG County-born photography professor at Howard University. The 2024 Gordon Parks Foundation Fellowship Recipient loves that he gets to “teach and create in a space where I feel free,” he says. “Howard is like its own Black universe of culture, history, tradition, thinkers, and visionaries,” he adds. “I’m honored to be part of that legacy. I love that I get to serve others as an educator and mentor. It keeps me grounded.”
And speaking of staying grounded, the two prioritize that in their relationship as well. “We know that our marriage is impacted as our minds and bodies evolve, so it’s important for us to carve out time and space to listen to those evolutions so we can have a lifetime together,” Nakeya poetically depicts.
And Larry echoes these sentiments. “The more things we do together as a couple, the stronger our relationship becomes. It brings us closer together and reminds us not to lose ourselves in work, marriage, and parenting.”
Below, in honor of Valentine’s Day, Larry and Nakeya open up about their favorite couple-care memories, the self-care routines that keep their love strong, and much more.
Their favorite Couple-Care Memory
Nakeya: My favorite couple-care memory is our quiet date nights in Baltimore. We like dinner at Topside then taking a short walk over to Bloom’s. For a few hours, we get to hold hands, laugh together, debate ideas, and share our feelings, which helps us cut through life’s busyness and reconnect with each other.
Larry: One that comes to mind is spending the weekend at home binge-watching Ozark all day. No cell phones, emails, or laptops. Just being present, enjoying each other’s company, holding hands, and sharing our favorite snacks. Nakeya loves to ask questions during a movie or episode, so I end up providing commentary. At the end of the weekend, I felt well-rested and recharged.
Their Individual Self-Care Routines
Nakeya: I wake up around 5:00 am five days a week, so I feel most restored after a good nap! In my daily routine, I include a yoga flow, breathwork, or light stretching before or after work. Reading a good book, phone calls with family, shopping responsibly, listening to music, visiting a historic place, lighting candles, writing, hugs from my daughters, and seeing family and friends make me happy!
Larry: I started walking after dinner about a year ago. It has helped with stress, anxiety, energy levels, and my overall mood. I sleep better after walking. But what I didn’t expect was how it helps me creatively. I can think through ideas and problem-solve. Also, visiting my grandmother often is very important to me. She’s 90 years younger, and being in her home and presence is comforting in a way I can’t fully explain. She loves scrolling through the photos on my phone and talking about the clothes I’m wearing, where I’ve been, and how Nakeya and the kids are doing. We talk about how we are feeling physically and emotionally. We give each other wellness checks. I leave her house feeling emotionally restored.
Their Couple-Care Routines
Nakeya: We like to spend time together, over food, figuring out a new nutrition schedule or detox based on our diet. The kitchen and grocery store become places for us to collaborate. We like to cook together, sneak in hugs, or catch up on our days. Right now, we are incorporating lean, high-protein meals into our diet, so we cook a lot of salmon with kale, spinach, cabbage, or fresh green beans to keep our hearts and skin healthy. We sometimes do warm-tea detoxes together at night.
Larry: Date nights are very important, especially as parents. We go on 2-3 dates a month during the school year and weekly during summer breaks. We like to frequent a particular Thai restaurant not too far from our house, as well as a seafood restaurant in Annapolis with views of the water.
The Self-Care Lessons They’ve Learned From One Another
Nakeya: Larry has helped me learn to slow down and be brave enough to say no to what does not serve me. He has a self-assuredness in every decision he makes because he’s such a man of intention. I admire that about him so much, and it’s inspired me to speak out about my needs, but also let go and move forward when life tosses me lemons.
Larry: Nakeya has always encouraged me to take care of myself. That it’s okay for me to take time away from family, work, and the studio to focus on my individual needs. Getting pedicures, spending time with friends, shopping for myself, catching a movie. That tending to myself is not selfish.
The Products They’ve Introduced To One Another
Nakeya: The best grooming product Larry introduced me to is Asli Pure, a natural body butter and oil line. My favorite scent is Oshun!
